|We are often told in the press or by others in our community how adaptable the military spouse can be.
We are meant to be organisational wizards, posting gurus, networking experts.
We are supposed to be form-filling ninjas, amazing solo-parents, accomplished chefs.
We are successful self-employed business leaders, company experts, entrepreneurial Milspo’s while at the same time supporting our serving person.
Whoah! I am tired just looking at that list! Yes, military spouses and partners ARE amazing, but, that makes it even more difficult for us to fail.
Despite our very best efforts, sometimes, just sometimes, it all gets a bit much. Sometimes the balls, that we are continually juggling get dropped.
Yesterday I lost the juggle struggle. Its 34º, we have just moved into our new, smaller, noisier, stranger married quarter and OMG I am melting. All I can see is a sea of moving boxes and three very hot looking pets struggling to comprehend how they’ve woken up in a hot, sweaty terrace rather than that fresh, comfortable home that they loved so much – to be honest. I am thinking exactly the same.
And you know what? To add to the list above, strangers keep telling me that I am an expert at moving house! What the actual ****?!? (Maybe they confused me with this lovely lady?)
The thing is because I am now an ‘expert’ at moving and postings, I couldn’t possibly fail at this. Worse still, because I am ‘amazing’ at moving and postings no one seems to wonder how I am doing. I have become invisible….again! ‘She’s done it before; she’ll be ok…she knew what she was getting herself into’.
And yes, I knew life as a military partner back in 2009 when I met my husband, but things really have changed in those 11 years. I didn’t know I was going to move every 10minutes, I didn’t know I’d be packing up my house with my partner 3,000miles away, I didn’t know I’d have to explain to my friends how I am moving house again, and I didn’t know there would be so many painful goodbyes. I am not ok, and no one seems to see that. Precisely at what posting number did people think that I am ok with this?
But, I am not alone. It’s summertime, the traditional time for the military world to go crazy as we pack our belongings into those god-damn boxes and hope that some of it makes it to the next strange house with its dodgy carpets and ugly curtains. The military are on the move in some tremendous mass house swap season!
So my darling Milspo, if you are feeling the same, I just want to say (in my loudest shouty voice that I especially save for people that push into the queue at Sainsbury’s) that I SEE YOU!
You are not invisible – you are, in fact, bloody fantastic! Because, despite all the pain, and energy, and sweat, and bitterness and heartbreak, you still got up today, and that is all that you needed to do. You haven’t given up.
Despite all the doubts that you weren’t designed for this life, and worry about where you will be living next, and anguish about the unknown, you didn’t give up today.
And even if that means that things don’t get done, and you spend the entire day (and I mean the whole SEVEN hours) binge watching Netflix or popping your children in front of CBeebies then that’s ok. You are allowed to stop juggling for one day.
Do you know why people say to you they ‘don’t know how you do it’? It’s because they NEVER could do this. And that is all the validation you need to know that you are special and that you are doing a great job. You are a Milspo, and you are rocking it!
PS – If you are struggling a little bit then please do come and join in the Milspo Meet-Ups on Wednesday mornings. They are just fun, happy places to be during this time and stuffed to the brim with Milspo’s who are rocking it….they’re also free so why not join in
PPS – I will be back properly in the next few weeks sharing with you the ‘Back to Business’ September Challenge and the next lot of online networking. Lots of lovely things planned so make sure you’ve joined the Facebook community.