Navigating military life while building a business can feel like a constant battle, can’t it? The uncertainty around operations and the intense global pressure on our Armed Forces are certainly being felt in our house, and then, add a move into the mix and suddenly it can all start to feel a bit of a juggle-struggle.

It’s pretty inevitable that when you are partnered with someone in the British Armed Forces, they will get posted at some time or another.

Now, I’m not going to go into the fine details of military moves as, quite frankly, there is a lot of MOD admin that might change and, also, it’s a long and tedious process that you can only truly understand when it happens! (Or when it all changes at the last minute.) In fact, I am a great believer in outsourcing the whole sorry admin mess to my husband. The fact that only he can access the MOD software is just the perfect excuse I need not to get involved with any of those details.

But, with all that said, my business is a whole other matter, and I have years of experience of postings. It has been, well, ‘challenging’, to say the least, but it’s also given me some of the best times I have ever had. There’s nothing like moving every ten minutes to help you see just how strong your marriage is and just how kind this military community can be….athough give me a boring life anyday!

We’re now in our ninth married quarter (ask me about postcodes and watch me cry!), and my business has moved to every single one. In fact, it was started back in 2012 purely as a response to that first posting. But I’ve learned through all of those moves that a business doesn’t just have to survive the posting, it can actually thrive despite the roller-coaster of modern military life.

And there is one part of running a business through a posting that I get asked about more than any other. Not the CRM, not the change-of-address list, not even the boxes (though I swear they breed when your back is turned). It’s this: Building a business network that can move with you.

But, how on earth do you keep a network working when you keep moving?

The day I got lost on the M4

Let me tell you how I found my answer.

By the time of our fourth house, I’d started driving on autopilot to the last place I’d lived. It wasn’t the first time I’d done it and I’m sure it won’t be the last, but this time it really upset me. I’d had an amazingly supportive networking group at that posting but, as I was only there for a year, I’d had to leave them when we moved. They’d forgotten me, but I still missed them.

A few weeks later, I’d joined an online business party on Zoom where the host used breakout rooms, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Could I use those for networking?

Someone in the US was already doing exactly that. They called it Virtual Networking and they were having so much success. I could find nothing similar in the UK, which sort of made sense. If you wanted to do business networking, you went to a real-life group, because that’s just how it was done, and that’s how it worked.

But for the Milspo community it seemed like the perfect solution. Not only could we network together no matter where we were, we could put all that expertise we have in video calls (when our partners are away) to good use. It was a win-win.

Cue one very comedic night of me, my long-suffering husband and my poor sister “zooming” each other via every mobile phone, laptop and iPad we could find, in some multi-screen carnage, just to see if it could work. I can still hear the feedback ringing in my ears but, you know what… It bloody worked.

So, in May 2019, with my poor husband on admin support, we tested the concept with twelve business owners all over the UK. One attendee’s husband had just received an admin order for Germany and, not knowing anyone there, she left that very first meeting with a new friend who already lived there.

That idea, dreamt up all because I didn’t focus properly on the M4, has helped military spouse business owners all over the UK (and the world) connect and talk about business properly.

So here are my top ten tips for networking through military life: how to make the most of your local groups while you’re there, and how to build the kind of network that comes with you when the posting order lands. All of these are tried and tested in my own business, with a few borrowed from my best business pals along the way.

1. Go local – and go early

I find the best way to find new clients and helpful local businesses once you arrive is through networking. So the minute you land at a new posting, start looking. Don’t wait until you’ve unpacked (you’ll never be fully unpacked anyway).

There are hundreds of networking groups available and it does take a bit of trial and error to find the great ones, but it is 100% worth it. Ask the welfare team, search Facebook for “[your town] business networking”, check Eventbrite, and ask other spouses on the patch where they go. 

Some groups are formal with a fee and a fixed table – some are a coffee and a chat. Try both. I love my local networking groups! Not only are they great for finding new clients, it’s also lovely to talk business with like-minded people.

2. Smile. Seriously, it works

It sounds daft but it makes a massive difference to how you feel. Just making a physical change to your body can convince your brain that you’re doing okay, and it helps everyone else in the room know that you’re lovely. Everything is easier with a smile on your face, whether that’s across a table or across a Zoom screen.

3. Remember everyone is doing their best

Joining a room full of strangers is frightening for almost everyone. The person opposite you is just as worried about saying the wrong thing as you are. Be gentle with them and with yourself. This applies just as much online. That awkward pause when the breakout room opens is universal, so be the one who says hello first.

4. Turn up more than once

I have lost count of the number of business owners who have told me they no longer go to networking because they went once and never got any business from it.

Commitment is key. Trust and meaningful connection don’t happen after one meeting. Turn up a few times, get to know everyone, and you’ll find the connection builds, especially with the people who want to work with you. Remember, people buy from people.

5. Not everyone will get what you do, and that’s okay

Even with the best will in the world, not everyone will be your ideal customer. Don’t write them off. I bet they know a lot of people who might be, and the best referrals often come from the person you least expected.

6. Give first

The currency of real networking is generosity, not greed. Offer an introduction, share a resource, answer a question in a Facebook group without pitching. Show up where your audience is and help them, and you’ll soon be known as the expert and the one to go to when anyone needs help in your industry.

7. Turn up as yourself, and know what you’re going to say

It’s easy to get wrapped up in “faking it until you make it”, but pretending to be someone else is exhausting, meanwhile your ideal client has wandered past. Your military life is part of your story, not something to hide. Some of my best business relationships started with “oh, you’re a forces family too?”

But please, whatever you do, ditch the “I’m just a spouse” introduction. When the breakout room opens and someone asks “so, what do you do?”, you want a clear, confident answer that explains who you are and the brilliant business you’re building – not an apology.

If that question makes you wince, I’ve put together a free workbook to help: Create Your Perfect Elevator Pitch. It walks you through a simple three-part introduction that focuses on the transformation you provide rather than just your job title. Download it, do the exercise, and you’ll never be caught out by “so, what do you do?” again.

8. Do the work between the events

Networking isn’t just something that happens at organised events. The secret to making the most of any connection is the work you do around them – the follow-up email, the LinkedIn message, the “I saw this and thought of you”. Keep a note of who you meet and what they need. A network is built at any time, not just on the second Thursday of the month.

9. Build a network that travels with you

This is the big one. However lovely your local group is, at some point you’ll have to leave it. I learned that the hard way on the M4. So from day one, be building the network that comes with you.

For me, that answer is virtual networking. When your network lives online too, a posting doesn’t take it away from you. You keep the same faces, the same referrals, the same people who know exactly what you do, no matter where the military sends you next, including overseas. Plus, you can do it in your slippers!

Those early, rickety days of Virtual Networking kick-started the whole Milspo community, and it’s given me access to a range of business owners I would never have met otherwise.

10. Join a community, not just a meeting

A meeting is an hour. A community is what happens in between. It’s the person who checks in during a deployment, the WhatsApp message when a client goes quiet, the friend who has already lived where you’re about to move. My Milspo networking sessions have taught me that this kind of network becomes greater than traditional networking. It becomes your cheerleaders, your sounding board and, honestly, your mates.

And if you’re new to an area don’t limit yourself to business networks either. The school gate, the choir, the pub quiz team – whatever your thing is, make those connections and look after them. They can prove just as valuable and they will become your best buddies.

There are no two ways about it. Keeping a network going through military life takes a bit more effort than it does for everyone else. But it is possible. I should know, I’ve done it a few times, so you can do it too!

Local networking will always be one of the best ways to land clients at a new posting. But if you’re keen to build a network that you can take everywhere the military takes you, come and try the fully-funded Virtual Networking events (so no cost to you) we run in the Milspo community. They happen every month, and the next one is on Tuesday 15 September – you can sign up on the Virtual Networking page of the Milspo website.

And here’s your homework before then: grab the free Create Your Perfect Elevator Pitch workbook, spend twenty minutes on the exercise, and arrive on the 15th with your introduction ready to go. Bring your smile, your pitch and a cuppa, and I’ll sort out the rest.

Sending you luck from the posting gods!

Jess x

Adapted from the book ‘Building Business Beyond the Magnolia Box – Inspiration for entrepreneurs living in a modern military world’. Out now and available on Amazon.